Posts
The Quest To Fifteen
1 year ago
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Post -1: Pack Your Things We're Getting the Hell Out of Here!
I've decided to move the blog over to wordpress:
http://lightmattstoybox.wordpress.com/
Today's quote: [You already got your quote of the day.]
http://lightmattstoybox.wordpress.com/
Today's quote: [You already got your quote of the day.]
Post 13: Thats Improper! But Sexy...
While I was trying to overcome my cold I've magical obtained out of nowhere, A friend of mine from Xbox Live told me about how in Japan sex in public is common. (I don't have my facts here by the way.) So, my perverted side kicked in and I began thinking about what if it happened here in America? Here's a situation:
I went to the store last week, looking for some chips. (I was hungry.) Upon arrival I made my way around the maze of food towards the back. In the frozen-food section I saw a couple fucking each other like it was the end of world. (Not to mention they must have forgotten they were in the frozen-food section.) The woman was moaning like the was a SUV in there. Interest at its highest (For the two who were having sex next to me, I mean.) I began to shuffle through the sausage packs as if I was looking for a a specific brand. Nearing climax one of the stock-boys began to interupt my fun and asked if he could assist me with anything. I had to think fast without looking too stupid, so I said, "Yeah, I'm looking for those...uh...Chicken Cock Links?" After that left my mouth I understood the strange look on the worker's face, but none the less he played along and looked with me. (Maybe he's into the same thing I was.) Anyways that day was a good day.
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said: "BA-LU-GA-CHU!!" <--Don't know what this means? Play Left 4 dead with me and see what happens when I'm a boomer.
I went to the store last week, looking for some chips. (I was hungry.) Upon arrival I made my way around the maze of food towards the back. In the frozen-food section I saw a couple fucking each other like it was the end of world. (Not to mention they must have forgotten they were in the frozen-food section.) The woman was moaning like the was a SUV in there. Interest at its highest (For the two who were having sex next to me, I mean.) I began to shuffle through the sausage packs as if I was looking for a a specific brand. Nearing climax one of the stock-boys began to interupt my fun and asked if he could assist me with anything. I had to think fast without looking too stupid, so I said, "Yeah, I'm looking for those...uh...Chicken Cock Links?" After that left my mouth I understood the strange look on the worker's face, but none the less he played along and looked with me. (Maybe he's into the same thing I was.) Anyways that day was a good day.
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said: "BA-LU-GA-CHU!!" <--Don't know what this means? Play Left 4 dead with me and see what happens when I'm a boomer.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Post 12: I'm the Middle-Aged Man with no Fingers Trying to open a Pepsi
One of the most annoying things I have ever had to put up with is going a day/meal/or when I'm just plain thirsty without some soda. Let's put it like this:
Let's say I'm visiting some one's house for something, and the host offers me a drink. I request either a Pepsi, Coca-Cola, or Mountain Dew. The host says something along the lines of, "Oh sorry, don't have that. Would Dr. Pepper do?"
Okay, let me start by saying, "No, Dr. Fuck Pepper does not make a good substitute!" Secondly what the hell, most people I've met and made a visit to their home have nothing but Sprite, Sierra Mist, Dr. Pepper, or 7up. I have nothing against these sodas, (Besides me hating them.) but come on people is it that hard to have something else.
At this point, I have denied the offer and went without a drink. (Oh, did I forget to mention that I haven't had a drink all day?) So I'm just sitting there thirsty as hell and the only to drink in their house is those sodas I mentioned earlier and water; so now I decided to hurry things up and get out so I can get to the store a buy a drink. In conjuction with that, after I leave the host thinks I'm a jackass and never invites me over again.
So based on that, what did we learn today children? Thats right! Always have extra soda on hand or else get ready to see your guest to leave in a hurry.
Today's Quote: Lightmatt once said: "Whatever signs your papers..."
Let's say I'm visiting some one's house for something, and the host offers me a drink. I request either a Pepsi, Coca-Cola, or Mountain Dew. The host says something along the lines of, "Oh sorry, don't have that. Would Dr. Pepper do?"
Okay, let me start by saying, "No, Dr. Fuck Pepper does not make a good substitute!" Secondly what the hell, most people I've met and made a visit to their home have nothing but Sprite, Sierra Mist, Dr. Pepper, or 7up. I have nothing against these sodas, (Besides me hating them.) but come on people is it that hard to have something else.
At this point, I have denied the offer and went without a drink. (Oh, did I forget to mention that I haven't had a drink all day?) So I'm just sitting there thirsty as hell and the only to drink in their house is those sodas I mentioned earlier and water; so now I decided to hurry things up and get out so I can get to the store a buy a drink. In conjuction with that, after I leave the host thinks I'm a jackass and never invites me over again.
So based on that, what did we learn today children? Thats right! Always have extra soda on hand or else get ready to see your guest to leave in a hurry.
Today's Quote: Lightmatt once said: "Whatever signs your papers..."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Post 11: This Relationship Sucks!
Today I began thinking about my high school years and remembered the #1 question I was asked: "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" The answer is simple, I'd break up with her the next day. Why? Because of my personality. The one thing that might annoy me the most would be the fact she might ask too many questions. Let's observe what my answer would be if she ask me a few questions.
Q: Do these pants make my butt look big?
My Answer: Does it matter? I'm just glad you're wearing pants today.
Q: Why won't you get tested for STD's?
My Answer: Does this have something to do with that weird rash in your crotch?
Q: It's our 1-day anniversary, what did you get me?
My Answer: A divorce.
Q: You haven't IM'd me all day, why?
My Answer: Sorry, I was busy posting this.
Q: Do you like me?
My Answer: I like to have sex with you.
Q: Why won't you look my in the eye when we're making love?
My Answer: Because I don't want to see the evil in your eyes.
Today's Quote: Lightmatt once said, "Ki-yon~"
Q: Do these pants make my butt look big?
My Answer: Does it matter? I'm just glad you're wearing pants today.
Q: Why won't you get tested for STD's?
My Answer: Does this have something to do with that weird rash in your crotch?
Q: It's our 1-day anniversary, what did you get me?
My Answer: A divorce.
Q: You haven't IM'd me all day, why?
My Answer: Sorry, I was busy posting this.
Q: Do you like me?
My Answer: I like to have sex with you.
Q: Why won't you look my in the eye when we're making love?
My Answer: Because I don't want to see the evil in your eyes.
Today's Quote: Lightmatt once said, "Ki-yon~"
Monday, February 9, 2009
Post 10: That man, I believe he be a Assassin!
In Assassin's Creed its made known what consists of the assassin's code of conduct, but what about the guard's code of conduct? Well, I did some digging and found this lost document about their creed and this is how it is read.
1. If I can't see you, I don't know you. (Its means I'm blind.)
2. I shall not draw my blade to harm the innocent. (Let the bad guys do that for me.)
3. I shall not question the scholars, even if one of them has a knife on his back. (1 and 2 combined.)
4. Hay piles, roof huts, and benches are NO-NO zones. (witness someone jumping into one of these, just pretend you didn't see them.)
5. I shall enforce the speed limit of 0.5 miles per hour and chase any who dare defy it. (until I get tired of running.)
6. There's no such thing as an Assassin's Bureau. (That's would be stupid.)
7. Letting your prey know that God is on your side shows that you're a total badass (Be sure to shout this as loud as you can.)
8. If someone attempts to escape by climbing on the walls like a spider throw rocks at him. (Who cares whose home I'm making a dent in.)
9. Never blame anyone for murder. (Even if he's wearing white and carrying a blood-soaked blade with him and standing right next to the body.)
10. Fight in great numbers! Chances are the guy you're chasing is a total pussy and will be both impressed and scared. (It's not like he's an assassin or anything.)
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said while playing Left 4 Dead: [Smoker's tongue attacks Lightmatt] "Hey! Hey guys! I'm being lickitung'd!!"
1. If I can't see you, I don't know you. (Its means I'm blind.)
2. I shall not draw my blade to harm the innocent. (Let the bad guys do that for me.)
3. I shall not question the scholars, even if one of them has a knife on his back. (1 and 2 combined.)
4. Hay piles, roof huts, and benches are NO-NO zones. (witness someone jumping into one of these, just pretend you didn't see them.)
5. I shall enforce the speed limit of 0.5 miles per hour and chase any who dare defy it. (until I get tired of running.)
6. There's no such thing as an Assassin's Bureau. (That's would be stupid.)
7. Letting your prey know that God is on your side shows that you're a total badass (Be sure to shout this as loud as you can.)
8. If someone attempts to escape by climbing on the walls like a spider throw rocks at him. (Who cares whose home I'm making a dent in.)
9. Never blame anyone for murder. (Even if he's wearing white and carrying a blood-soaked blade with him and standing right next to the body.)
10. Fight in great numbers! Chances are the guy you're chasing is a total pussy and will be both impressed and scared. (It's not like he's an assassin or anything.)
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said while playing Left 4 Dead: [Smoker's tongue attacks Lightmatt] "Hey! Hey guys! I'm being lickitung'd!!"
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Post 9: Ahh!! I got the...Anchorage!!
After playing Fallout 3's Operation Anchorage I begun thinking; what's up with the the name Anchorage? So to sum it up Fallout 3 style, gather around the campfire and I shall spin ye a tale about a disease called, "ANCHORAGE!!".
Long ago before the Chinese invasion, there was a horrible disease running a muck in the Capital Wastelands; its name was "Anchorage". Around 2024-ish Anchorage infected several people, (mostly old people), and created chaos among their fellow man. Some the common effects of Anchorage include: A need to be out in the cold snow (even if there isn't any snow to be found), a need to be an American hero (followers of the Enclave are what we call, "Anchorage in the early stages"), talking in a angry-tone (probably because there was no snow.), and a need to strip their clothes off. (Even in snow). Anyways, the infected cause trouble around town, ruins, etc. and were often exiled from other people. So, somwhere around the basepark of 50 years or so, the Brotherhood of Steel began to "relocate" the infected to a desserted area in Alaska and dumped them there to forever deal with the disease forever, with each other. The area would later be named after the disease.
So, if you're ever running around in Anchorage, be aware of the dangers of the infected.
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said:"Apple-pie! Apple-pie! Everybody loves that apple-pie! Yeehaw!!"
Long ago before the Chinese invasion, there was a horrible disease running a muck in the Capital Wastelands; its name was "Anchorage". Around 2024-ish Anchorage infected several people, (mostly old people), and created chaos among their fellow man. Some the common effects of Anchorage include: A need to be out in the cold snow (even if there isn't any snow to be found), a need to be an American hero (followers of the Enclave are what we call, "Anchorage in the early stages"), talking in a angry-tone (probably because there was no snow.), and a need to strip their clothes off. (Even in snow). Anyways, the infected cause trouble around town, ruins, etc. and were often exiled from other people. So, somwhere around the basepark of 50 years or so, the Brotherhood of Steel began to "relocate" the infected to a desserted area in Alaska and dumped them there to forever deal with the disease forever, with each other. The area would later be named after the disease.
So, if you're ever running around in Anchorage, be aware of the dangers of the infected.
Today's quote: Lightmatt once said:"Apple-pie! Apple-pie! Everybody loves that apple-pie! Yeehaw!!"
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